Sunday, July 9, 2017

The hardest word to say is goodbye


                A tear falls down my cheek as I realize that this is goodbye, but a smile lights up my face as I realize who I met and what I experienced. It’s crazy how much I already miss all of the kids and I haven’t even left Cambodia yet. These children will have a special place in my heart forever. They have taught me to be confident in what I say and what I do and that is very valuable for my everyday life.

                I could tell that everyone at the orphanage knew it was our last day there. There was a sad awareness of the goodbye that loomed ahead. It motivated me to live in the moment more. When we went up on the stage to dance I didn’t think about what was going to happen or what had happened I just thought about dancing with everyone. We stayed longer to watch their performance and have a small goodbye party. In their performance they did traditional dances, a pop song dance, and a comedy skit. The skit was in Khmer but Mimi, the main actress, was such an amazing actress I was able to get the gist of the whole skit. Srey Tom sat on my lap and watched the act, she was laughing and smiling. It made me laugh and smile too, not because I understood what they were saying, but because it showed me how these kids opened up and let us into their lives. That is something really hard to do, it takes so much to show someone who you really are. I feel like that trust was everywhere in every hug and in every smile. The trust wasn’t only with the kids it was with our group too.

                At dinner we were asked personal questions so we could get to know each other better, everyone answered honestly. I was still scared to answer the questions but seeing how honest everyone was I felt I was able to open up too. Maybe not as much at dinner but I feel that I can really be myself with these people. My friends being open and the kids being open has really showed me that if you share with others you can make once in a life time friends.

                At the end of the day we sat in a circle and they handed out paper chains and cards that they had made especially for us.  Then they presented the picture boxes. I didn’t really know what to expect, but when they rolled out the picture box it felt like our whole trip was put into it. There were pictures and names in the boxes and each one told a story. In each picture there were people smiling. Usually in pictures, you are just told to smile and you do it, but these smiles are different they’re genuine and they tell a story. They show what a person has been through, and they show how the person has persevered and how grateful they are to be there.

Saying goodbye to everyone was a lot harder than I was expecting. Everyone was crying, I looked around saw all their faces for the last time and I started to cry too. Srey Tom who is at the orphanage with her sisters and her mom welcomed me the first day and stayed by my side for the whole trip. Saying goodbye to her was like leaving a piece of my heart there. In a good way. I left them with memories of me and they filled my heart with memories of them. We went to the temples for the last day. Seeing all the temples and visiting a nice hotel made me feel guilty. At the orphanage we visited the slums. The people live in tiny tin huts with barley enough to survive, and I’m here never missing a meal of going hungry, and I have an extraordinary family and home to go home to. The guilt I was feeling led me to be very appreciative of what I have and I’m glad I was given such a great opportunity as CGA to come and help the people of Cambodia.
                So as I finish up this trip I know that I will try to remember this for as long as I can. I will remember every name, so I can label every picture, I will remember all the songs, so I can find them at home, and I definitely will remember the connections and relationships I made with all of the wonderful people I met.
 

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